Special shout out to my lovely friend, Alana Tsui, for letting me post picture # 3 (she’s blowing bubble gum on the beach). Thanks for being a “10″ in every way!! xx

I’m so bad at taking my own advice. Can’t expect to receive love at its best when I’m not willing to give it– always have to hold onto some of it. Guard it. Hide it. Like I feel too exposed and it will be stripped from me. I take my past pains and I take my mistakes by their hands and continue to walk with them. But I want to live.

Ours is like a child. It’s something we created together and it’s unique to us. It opened its bright eyes and questioned and wondered. It’s the butterflies that spin their tiny wings in our stomachs and it’s what keeps us awake at night telling stories and dreams. Then it sleeps with its lazy love smile. It wants to hold your hand and be held close to your chest. It craves to be fed. We have to care for it or it will die. Nourish it. Trust it. Give and watch it grow. When we cause pain, we listen and we work to understand and when we don’t understand we hold it and let it bury it’s face into our necks. And it can cry and it can get angry and it can forgive. We don’t let pride stand in-between us. We don’t give up.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
1 Corinthians 13:4

From Rumi,”Whispers of the Beloved”

“I cannot sleep in your presence.
In your absence, tears prevent me.
You watch me My Beloved
On each sleepless night and
Only You see the difference

Looking at my life
I see that only Love
Has been my soul’s companion
From deep inside
My soul cries out:
Do not wait, surrender
For the sake of Love.

If you can’t smell the fragrance
Don’t come into the garden of Love.
If you’re unwilling to undress
Don’t enter into the stream of Truth.
Stay where you are.
Don’t come our way.

All year round the lover is mad,
Unkempt, lovesick and in disgrace.
Without love there is nothing but grief.
In love… what else matters?

Love is our Mother and
The way of our Prophet.
Yet it is in our nature
To fight with Love.
We can’t see you, mother,
Hidden behind dark veils
Woven by ourselves.

Do you want to enter paradise?
To walk the path of Truth
You need the grace of God.
We all face death in the end.
But on the way, be careful
Never to hurt a human heart!

Do you know what the music is saying?
“Come follow me and you will find the way.
Your mistakes can also lead you to the Truth.
When you ask, the answer will be given.”

The Master who’s full of sweetness
Is so drunk with love, he’s oblivious.
“Will you give me
some of your sweetness?”
“I have none,” he says,
unaware of his richness.

You know what love is?
It is all kindness, generosity.
Disharmony prevails when
You confuse lust with love, while
The distance between the two
Is endless.

This Love is a King
But his banner is hidden.
The Koran speaks the Truth
But its miracle is concealed.
Love has pierced with its arrow
The heart of every lover.
Blood flows but the wound is invisible.

Hey New Yorkers/Party-Goers,

Tomorrow we’re having a dance party at Beauty Bar in Union Square! There will be cupcakes and candy and cute girls so come hang with us and dance your pants off. We’d love to see you there :]

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I met Sascha in 2009 when I visited Berlin. I went with my good friend Mikey (aka Mikix the Cat) to see Moderat (Modeselektor + Apparat). They blew my mind. Incredible show! The combination of visuals and music made me feel like I was on another planet. You can read about it HERE

This song carries this feeling of light at the end of the tunnel. It’s my bipolar lullaby. It makes me think about my life– especially over the past few weeks. I’ve had sharp anger rise up inside of me and I’ve let it twist it’s ugly head through my chest and my neck and let it boil and bubble from my tongue– the worst kind. The demons that taint and bite. I feel pretty awful. Makes me wonder who I am sometimes or who I’m hiding. It’s like locking a naughty child in a tower and losing the key. Just forget about the child. If it cries or acts up, let the noise bleed into the sounds of the day like the city’s hum of cars and steps and trains and machines. It will go away if you silence it with your eyes and ears and lungs. But it haunts.

I think about the people that can set it off– the fake friends, the deceptive people in my life and then the “child” unleashes everything ugly and fearful and painful and screams like millions of tiny daggers attacking whatever/whoever stands in front of me. But I can’t control people or situations completely. I can only control my reaction to things. Everyone is going through their own shit anyway, so half the time it doesn’t really even need to affect me. Perception is reality. So, sometimes I imagine these people like little toddlers that can’t express their emotions so they cry or hit or get angry and throw a tantrum. Everyone is a little babe– trying to figure themselves out. We’ve all done things that we can’t understand or are ashamed of. We feel bad and hope that someone will forgive us. We can’t worry about others so much. I’m not excusing bad behavior and I certainly believe it should be confronted if it’s worth it, but just don’t let yourself go into the fire like I did. I was ready for some airborne elbow/knee action to the face with blades and chains (too many kung-fu movies). Just calm down, relax and fill your mind with positivity so you don’t become a total asshole. When you meditate on positive things like seeing your friends and family happy, lifting up your friends or family if they’re feeling down, SMILING, going out of your way to help someone– it replaces the crappy stuff and changes your thinking. We’re all going to die someday so may as well figure this out before it’s too late and enjoy life rather than let it swallow you. Anyway…

“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” ~ Rumi
“One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure.” – William Feather“The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it.” ~ Woodrow Wilson“The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed.” ~ J. Krishnamurti “You can’t make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to the person to realize your worth.”~ Anonymous“A loving heart is the truest wisdom.” ~ Charles Dickens“To have joy one must share it. Happiness was born a twin.” ~ Lord Byron“When you wake up in the morning, kiss your loved one on the forehead and wish them a good day.”“The best way out is always through.” – Robert Frost“Knock, And He’ll open the door
Vanish, And He’ll make you shine like the sun
Fall, And He’ll raise you to the heavens
Become nothing, And He’ll turn you into everything.”
— Rumi“Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.”
— Rumi (El Masnavi)